tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80289098797319193022024-02-20T17:44:47.342+01:00En la frontera entre mis recuerdos y los del restono hay nada claro. Piezas de Puzzle Perdidas-Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.comBlogger83125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-10370835358743362372014-12-28T19:56:00.000+01:002014-12-28T19:56:26.494+01:00to 2015, about 2014Heeeey...<br />
<br />
[Is it awkward that blogging feels awkward because I very seldom do it? Why do I even have blogs? Seriously, like.]<br />
<br />
So yep, I don't blog a lot, but this year has been intense, and I kind of want to wrap it up a bit. Not with a party, no. More like, with a bit of thinking.<br />
Here's a tip, now: the best way to organize your ideas is to verbalize them having in mind as heterogeneous a public as you cat get. Yeah, I mean "the Internet".<br />
<br />
Let's go back to the intenseness of this year, so. Umh.<br />
<br />
2014 didn't start well for me, my family, or the people I was close to at the time.<br />
And then, it didn't get better.<br />
<br />
Generally speaking, I spent the first few months wishing that at the New Years' Eve celebration, somehow, I had been tranported to some shitty parallel reality, from which I'd eventually come back. So maybe I'm still trapped here...<br />
But to be honest, right now I believe that would have been too good. "Good" didn't belong to my 2014.<br />
<br />
Because of this, I think that I'm going to make a list and I also think that it will be no easy task. But nice things are there even if we fail to notice them (that wasn't me, it was a mantra thingy. I'm miserable and bitter. Optimism is for tossers. And so on), so I'm going to write down the things that happened during 2014 and which make me feel good.<br />
<br />
- Hyuna. All about her.<br />
- Going back to work with kids. They're honest little people.<br />- Fiding out friends. As in, realising for the first time that a certain individual is a true friend who values me and worries about my wellbeing, and whom I value and about whose wellbeing I worry.<br />
- My Degree End Research Project. Lexical borrowing processes from Old English to the Renaissance, if ay of you want to throw some ideas.<br />
- Seeing again people I'd missed.<br />
- Having money. This is one if the things that has changed most since last Christmas. And it may sound as crappy as you like, but feeling ok about my economic status rather that it keeping me from sleeping- a blessing. And being able to buy things, both for me and for other people, and from other people, nice.<br />
- I've read a lot this year. Highlight: I've discovered Terry Pratchet. Oh, is he good.<br />
<br />
That's it.<br />
<br />
Now, to this coming year, I'd like to ask one single thing: let us all find out that the decisions we made in 2014 were the right ones.<br />
I've got no resolutions and no promises to make in return for that favour, so the only thing I can offer is the knowledge that, upon taking those decisions, I did the best I could. I hope that's enough and if it's not, then there's nothing I can change anyway.Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-60071356400208157322014-08-06T21:40:00.001+02:002014-08-06T21:40:11.954+02:00I'll just write here a bit... because I like blogging.<br /><br />I do, really.<br /><br />My constancy sucks, but so does everything else :)<br /><br /><br />Now, to the matter.<br /><br />I've probably told here before of my job in summer camps.<br />So well, I came back from Ireland earlier this year, generally speaking, because everything sucks, and it's summer now. That means summer job. That means summer camp.<br /><br />That means children.<br />Oh, yes, those.<br /><br />I don't think I can hate them any more than I already do.<br /><br />I mean, they've got this way of asking things and you don't realise and suddenly you are not taking advantage of your free afternoons to study for your September exams anymore, because instead you are writing a play and making the costumes and stage decorations for that play and you are also planning a camping trip with them and you are also thinking of effective ways of teaching them how to draw elvish warriors riding dragons, when you can't even draw that yourself and they get frustrated in step one- draw an oval.<br /><br />["Why do you always get your ovals right?"<br />"My oval looks like a potato, I'm gonna start over." *takes a new piece of paper*<br />"But how do you draw an oval?"<br />"Don't say you just learnt, someone must have taught you to properly draw ovals"<br />"This is impossible- can't we draw a face without an oval?"]<br /><br />I don't think every person dealing with children ends up like this... there must be some secret word or something, to stop them from having ideas...<br /><br /><br />mhh...Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-67651991187636286192014-05-15T17:20:00.000+02:002014-05-15T17:20:46.804+02:00Memories (and you may all go and decide I'm a nerd now- I'm still a proud one.)In these past days, two unrelated yet very <i>related</i> memories came back to me.<br /><br />First one I remembered the other day (I actually think it was yesterday, but my perception of time is so very messed up lately, I can never know). I was FB texting the Firetruck (that annoying being- I can only picture his stupid perpetual smile, but everytime I talk to him he is crossed, or sarcastic, or sad, or <i>an emo</i>, or not happy in any other way. And he is too amazing for that shit)and at one point he said the following:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"[P]oor you, spending your time in an studyship you chose in order to find a job you love."</blockquote>
<br />And it reminded me. it remimded me of my 20 year old "self" (who was barely a self at all), that miserable thing, being put to study English without even being asked about it. Of course I didn't say a thing, because, well, I do love what I am doing, but I remembered, I felt. I felt the urge to escape that life people were shaping for me without my consent, I remembered hating it and everybody so much.<br /><br />That's my first memory.<br /><br />My second memory arised after the community reunion this morning, or maybe two weeks ago. There exists this omnipresent talkative neighbour (she tends to be there when my mother's reserve is saving me some embarrasment, and likes to compensate), and my birthday is about to come, so of course she started relating her -very reshaped- memories of my childhood. And it brought my own back.<br />She was narrating how much I loved being cared for by her daughter and how happy I was at those times, and it made me picture myself being happy while I did that that made me happy.<br />I... developed writing systems, inventing their symbold, deciding what sounds were and were not represented (for they were writing systems for imagined languagues), and which ones were to be written in dygraphs.<br />I also read enciclopaedia entries and investigated the evolution of letters and their different shapes in the écritures of old times. I looked at them and enjoyed the fascination they made me feel.<br />I asked my mom to write things for me using greek letters so that I could decipher it.<br />I read Asterix comics in French to try and grasp some of the meaning.<br />I searched the internet for a glossary of Old Irish words (who wan't modenr languages when there is obsolete ones abound?) and memorised them.<br />
I read an old Latin diccionary and copied down words that I found interesting.<br /><br /><br />I lived for them, for all the words in all the languages, for all the ways in which both changed, chifted, evolved, all this time.<br /><br />I quote Christabel LaMotte now.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Words have been all my life, all my life."</blockquote>
Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-28713759565731369692014-04-24T20:11:00.000+02:002014-04-24T20:11:06.140+02:00hiSo...<br />
(wow, I wasn't aware I hadn't written here for such a long time)<br />
Well...<br />
<br />
Actually, I had been thiking of posting some ideas here for the last few days but I had eventually decided not to because there is nothing to gain from "ohmygodmylifesuckssobadI'msomiserable" posts.<br />
<br />
But then today life sucked worse that usually, and I still wanted to be a good girl, but my friends wouldn't help me, and suddenly I found myself changin my fb profile picture for one in which I was 14 and suicidal, and then writing a post/joke about my fb page being suicidal itself (in which, for the record, I encouraged it to be strong and not kill itself).<br /><br />And friends, a friend, one very dear friend who has been really helpful and good to me before, well, him, couldn't think of anything else to do but scol me for laughing at suicide when I'm only just trying hard to ridiculize the idea of my own suicide, because, as it happens, I do wish I wasn't alive. And it's just that it made me feel so bad, because he, well, maybe it was just me being paranoid, but my sensation has been that he wasn't being any great lately, and God, it would help if he were.<br />
<br />
So whatever.<br />Suicide humour sucks, yeah, exactly as much as being me does, and I'm fucking free to laugh at it if I want to, the last thing I need is people making me feel worse.<br />
<br />
byeSaia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-34592196079809123552013-08-10T20:27:00.000+02:002013-08-10T20:32:24.337+02:00there's a bunch of stuff that scares me.Even now, when being in love feels great no matter how unrequited it is (apparently not too much), it terrifies me.<br />
<br />
Wasting my only chance to make you love me terrifies me,<br />
Letting you fade away from my life terrifies me,<br />
Screwing our friendship up terrifies me,<br />
Taking steps towards you without your previous consent terrrifies me,<br />
Using pressure until you can not scape terrifies me,<br />
Making you run away terrifies me,<br />
Letting go of you terrifies me,<br />
Repenting terrifies me,<br />
Being so afraid terrifies me,<br />
Not being able to tell what I feel and how I feel it terrifies me,<br />
Feeling this much terrifies me,<br />
The way my friends talk about my terror terrifies me,<br />
Crying about it terrifies me,<br />
The closeness of the day when you'll leave terrifies me,<br />
Not being here when you go terrifies me,<br />
Never getting to kiss you terrifies me,<br />
Not being the one for you if you are the one for me terrifies me,<br />
The estructural deepness of the difference between liking you and liking all the other people I've liked terrifies me,<br />
The cozyness of your gaze terrifies me,<br />
Letting go of your hugs terrifies me,<br />
Dissaponting you terrifies me,<br />
It all terrifies me...<br />
<br />
... so much that my body just stop working.<br />
<br />
And that terrifies me, too.<br />
<br />
<br />Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-43580605054300940502013-05-14T12:21:00.000+02:002013-05-14T12:21:07.442+02:00What now?Exactly why has all my reading list disappeared into thin air?<br /><br />Building it again from scratch is just... tiresome. Ah, and annoying.Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-72415959994992792362013-03-07T00:21:00.000+01:002013-03-07T00:21:33.651+01:00Slightly......depressed.<br /><br />But mostly anxious.<br /><br />Because whem M. and I started planning our future here everything was going to be awesome and great and I even knew who the father of my children was going to be*, and I still believe it's going to be all of that, but making it is not easy at all.<br /><br />Which kind of felt great at the begining because it was almost like a dare and I'm basque so I love dares, or something, but lately, it's been wasting me just too much.<br /><br />And I need to keep going. Shit. I need to go even faster and further.<br />But it's been ages since I run out of spoons for this.<br /><br />And the good tiny little detais don't feel that good anymore because I'm grown used to them, and the shitty tiny little details make me opressively depressed.<br /><br />Because.<br />We've made lots of decissions, and have taken one heavy step forward after the other, and right now, I've only got one thing left to do (and yes it's the biggest thing off them all but it is still only one) and after this weekend everything on our part will be done, but we will still be, physically, at the starting point.<br />And what do you do then? Well, you gather the reamins of your strength and start over again.<br />And if you've got no remaining stregth left? Well, you either let yourself die in a ditch, or you pretend you do have some left and start over again.<br /><br />Even if you are too tired to do anything but curling up in a corner and rocking and crying tiny tears.<br /><br /><br />That big massive only thing I've got left to do happens to be as big and massive as handing my CV in every... everywhere. I was suposed to do it today, but when I looked myself in the mirror I saw a terrible ghost that nobody would ever want to hire. And that's my mian problem right now: I'm so wasted that the fact that I can't do it doesn't matter anymore because even if I did it it'd be useless, given my state.<br /><br /><br />I might just want a hug and a shoulder to cry on, but I really feel so down I've actually been thinking of letting anxiety get over me and going back home and coming back after summer. Or for summer. Or whatever. And not letting myself do that is devouring my own stomach and....<br /><br />Whatever.<br />I'm going to stop this meaningless whining. (You know what's the worst of all? That I'm still going to publish this because... because...)<br /><br /><br /><br />*Imagine having an answer for this even without the slightest intention of actually having any children...Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-19077667279416972082013-01-27T23:37:00.000+01:002013-01-27T23:37:02.344+01:00PrivacyWhat do you do when you can not blurt stuff out in either of your blogs anymore because some of your readers actually have an active rol in your life?<br />
<br />Do you get a new mail accout and start another brand new blog?<br /><br />
Do you just write it on post-its and stick it on your bedroom wall?<br /><br />Do you click "publish" anyway because you don't give a fuck?<br />
<br />
Do you let anxiety get over yourself and buble whatever thing is bothering you while rocking in your corner?<br />
<br />
Do you let it unsaid, as you had done all your life before you started blogging? Do you let your annoyance, fear, anxiety and worries control your decission? Do you repent for having ever typed a single word?Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-78626464772008287792013-01-03T17:28:00.000+01:002013-01-04T19:51:37.947+01:00I know it's a little late for this, but: New Year's MemeI got the meme from <a href="http://voxcorvegis.wordpress.com/2012/12/29/its-that-time-of-year-again/" target="_blank">Voxcorvegis</a>.<br />
Here I come:<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?</b><br />
<br />
I came au-pairing. I stimmed in public being concious of what I was doing. I met M. in person. I let R. kiss me and I cried for him. A. went all the way from Sevilla to my house to visit me.<br />
<br />
<b>2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?</b><br />
<br />
I don't normally do proper new years resolutions. The olny resolution I remember taking last year (as always) is "OK, I'm gonna start seriously studying" and it wasn't realted to the new year, just to the exams the last week of January. I didn't keep it (but I passed everything).<br />
<br />
<b>3. How (will you be spending) /did you spend New Year’s Eve?</b><br />
<br />
I had a lovely Spanish dinner with M., J., and L. at L.'s house, we sort of went out and then we all slept together. It was bizarre and nice.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Did anyone close to you die?</b><br />
<br />
Maki, my dog, died last winter. R.'s dad died too, and F. too. Lot's of deaths, actually...<br />
<br />
<b>5. What countries did you visit?</b><br />
<br />
Ireland.<br />
<br />
<b>6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?</b><br />
<br />
Sanity. And spoons enough to want to have a couple.<br />
<br />
<b>7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?</b><br />
<br />
August 25, because I felt bad, stupid and ridiculous. September 28 because it's the day I got to Cork and December 23, because there's something it hurts about small coincidences.<br />
<br />
<b>8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?</b><br />
<br />
Mhhh... I'm mastering my spoons pretty well... and I passed a subject having opened it's books only the day of the exam.<br />
<br />
<b>9. What was your biggest failure?</b><br />
<br />
I don't have spoons enough to want to have a relationship with someone, no matter how much I like them.<br />
<br />
<b>10. Did you suffer illness or injury?</b><br />
<br />
Throat infection, as always, a fair share of anxiety, and that's it.<br />
<br />
<b>11. What was the best thing you bought?</b><br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Mh... can't think of anything remarcable. </span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">12. Where did most of your money go?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">University.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">13. What song will always remind you of 2012?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><em style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Paradise</em><span style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> by Coldplay, probably. And Ken Zazpi's <i>Zapalduen Olerkia</i>.</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">14. What do you wish you’d done more of?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Studying, specially German.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">15. What do you wish you’d done less of?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Nothing? Now, literally, nothing, like, spacing out.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">16. What was your favorite TV program?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><i>Big Bang Theory,</i> for a change. And, like, from October on, my favorite show from the ones I actually get to see would be... hold on tight... <i>Austin and Ally.</i> </span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I can't remember hating anyone. Actively, I mean. </span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">18. What was the best book you read?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I didn't read that much this year. I liked <i>The Woman who Walked into Doors</i> a lot.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">19. What was your greatest musical discovery?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Brook Davis :)</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">20. What was your favorite film of this year?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><i>The Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey.</i> What else.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">21. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I got to be 22. I didn't do anything special, holding to the lame excuse that my birthday is during exams season.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">22. What kept you sane?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Knowing and being conscious of my insanity, and some people who's willing to help.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">23. Who did you miss?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I miss R. and E. and M1. I don't really miss my parents.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">24. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned.</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Oh I learnt and practised a lot thinking/saying "Whatever" and walking away when I didn't like someone or what someone was saying.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">25. What does 2013 hold for me?</span></strong></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It hold for precious months here and it holds going back home. It holds post exams holiday in London. It holds starting my last year to get my degree. It holds facing and doing soething about my father's disease. It probably holds a huge lot of frustration, stress and anxiety.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It looks 2012 was a pretty plain year up to October xD thanks Cork and everyone there :)</span></div>
Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-77244104542024207292012-12-03T18:23:00.000+01:002012-12-03T18:23:42.671+01:00[Y de repente te das cuenta de que estás dando pasos de gigante hacia un futuro que te aterra, pero que tú has elegido. Y sientes miedo y orgullo, y mariposas en el estómago...]<br />
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<span lang="EN-GB">So... It
seems I’m... getting out of the closet. About my autism, that is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">One of the
reasons why I finally thought “So what the fuck?” and went aupairing was that
my friend M. was doing it, and reading about it in her blog, it looked amazing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">My
relationship with M. begun around 2006 in a certain foto-blog plataform and
we’ve been in touch via different social networks, and we follow each other
blogs. So, she knows about my aspergers. I think she is actually the only
person I knew before I found out that knows.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">And I
decided to come aupairing to Irealnd and I ended up in Co. Cork, were she is.
And we met up (for the first time and it was weird and great and whatever).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">But the
thing is <i>she knows</i>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">And then
one saturday night I told F., because I... felt like it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">So <i>she
knows too.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">And we were
chatting the other day and... well, if G. didn’t properly realize what’s going
on, then he just <i>sort of did</i>, but it was stated clear that my mind works in a
different way at least.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">And I’m
getting out of the closet and it feels... a lot of different things.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">Of course
it feels great. I had actually thought of this experience as a way of starting
a life that makes me feel better, with less passing and more freedom, right
from the instant “So what the fuck?” came into my mind. And being free to be
yourself feels <i>fucking great.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">And of
course it’s hella scary too, I mean, now I suddenly am openly* autistic, and I
don’t really know what’s expected from me or to what point I can act like
myself and not my passing self, and what aspects of my autistic mind are OK and
not <i>creepy</i> to reveal to the people that I want to <i>keep</i> as friends, and how is
people going to respond to it? Are they all going to start acting weird and
ruin it all? And is it safe? or does it make me just <i>even more</i> vulnerable?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB">And them
I’m <i>proud</i>, because I’m actively taking <i>my own steps</i> towards what I think it
should be. Because, come on, asking for the right to be something you’re
actually hiding you are is not exactly cool, right? And asking for better
conditions and understanding for and about you while you’re not ready to show
it is about you is both mean and... <i>mean</i>, right? And when you’re changing that
hypocrite part of you (even if it’s only a small part of it, not the whole, not
all at once, it feels good, and your self steem suddenly grows, because you don’t
really accept yourself until you <i>publicly accept yourself</i>, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-size: x-small;">*Openly with my friends, even just with some of
them (the friend-est ones anyway), that is, with the peope I freely relate
with, not with my hostfamily or the
people we just hang out with.</span></span>Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-66112037273790262912012-12-01T15:16:00.000+01:002012-12-01T15:16:47.712+01:00I found my spotIt's been two months since I came here aupairing, and they0ve been great, but.<br />
As my bedroom is not my bedroom because my house is not my house and my family are not my family, I was missing having a safe spot.<br />
Having a gorgeous rocking chair in a corner in my bedroom made that absence easier to deal with, but still.<br />
<br />
And the other day I found something brilliant in my mail: "Loud Hands". And I started reading it right away, but I felt I needed a safe spot to read it as it deserves to be read.<br />
<br />
And I've got to babysit tonight so going all the way to cork to be back early, having into account that there's no bus to come back early, didn't seem a good idea.<br />
<br />
So this morning, after all the cries have ceased (it's amazing how much the kids cry when I'm not around) I've got out of bed, had some breakfast, paced some lunch, put "Loud Hands" in my Kindle, and walked away, looking for a nice spot to make mine.<br />
<br />
I've walked quite a bit but then: there was a meadow, loud enough to be a nice meadow but not too lopud to make an annoying unpleasant sound; there was trees, and rocks, and this magic green climbing up the trees and covering up the rocks. And there was a nice flat rock with no moss on it and it all was by the tiniest road ever, and there was no houses around and it was perfect.<br />
So I sat there and drank my tea and smoked half a pack of cigarrettes and read and it was perfect.<br />
<br />
And when I was coming back I thought of what I need to make it be always perfect and.<br />
<br />
I'm very happy right now.<br />
<br />
<br />
About how it is to be an Aspie-Aupair: well, I'm managing it the same nasty way I manage my whole life-passing, but it's somehow not that hard, or harsh, or whatever. I guess every aupair needs to pass, too.<br />
And I just can't believe how lucky I've been because my kids are amazing and very easy to handle.<br />
<br />
There is something, now.<br />
<br />
I'm being exploited when it comes to housework.<br />
Somehow or other, I knew it was going to happen from the very begining, and I just chose to accept it.<br />
Because the last (and first) time I tried to live on my own... well... that experience made it clear I couldn't.<br />
But because I've got an enormous sense of obligation, I'm actually able to do everything the house needs to get done here, and you know, maybe I can get used to it, or at least, become permanently aware of what needs to be done, and whatever.<br />
<br />
The stuff I'm not managing well are, my showers (sorry for that to everyone around me) and socialising with my host parents (butnow, I didn't really talk to my parents at home, either...).Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-33532570467998617212012-09-24T21:16:00.000+02:002012-09-24T21:16:43.668+02:00#CorkAdventure in a new blog Thank's to Ana's amazing idea of keeping her informed of her boots' whereabouts, I've found a brilliant way of relating my new life as an aupair in Cork.<br />
And I'll do it in a new blog, <a href="http://www.dykeboots.blogspot.com.es/" target="_blank">DYKE BOOTS</a> <br />
<br />
I'm not 100% sure yet but I'll probably do it in Spanish, as the rest of my life's gonna be in English, but who knows anyway.<br />
<br />
I will repost here anything I think is related to autism or important in some way not related to my auapir experience, and I promise I'll do an effort not to completely abandon this blog.<br />
<br />
Anyway,<br />
Don't forget to check it and you know :)Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-85702244135589451492012-09-08T23:24:00.000+02:002012-09-08T23:24:04.318+02:00I hate it when people does things for me without me asking and they do them in the wrong way.Like, you know, there's this guy who apparently likes me a lot, and yeah I also kind of like him, and he asked me to be his girlfriend but I said "no" because I was leaving, and the moment was not the best to explain things so I just said no.<br />
And this morning he went to the restaurant before I was there and my mom told him I'm leaving.<br />
<br />
So when I arrived he's looked at me with a sad look and he's said "So your leaving" and I said "Yes" and he asked "for how long" and I said "minimum 7 months" and his look's turned even sadder.<br />
<br />
And shit.<br />
<br />
(And yeah, this is me whining and I'm sorry about that but I needed to split it out)Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-79891822164417454572012-09-06T16:14:00.000+02:002012-09-06T16:14:02.633+02:00Even if I shouldn't...So, you know, me and blogging.<br />And still, I'm planning to star a brand new blog.<br />
Because I'll be an au-pair as soon as October starts, and everyone else is too and I thought of a separate blog for au-pair matters and stories.<br />
<br />
Even if I don't manage to have an only decent blog.<br />
Even if I might not be the best au-pair in the world.Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-73739505525766310402012-06-25T17:37:00.002+02:002012-06-25T17:37:50.442+02:00Driving while autistic. Aspxiety.<br />
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">After doubly recibing the “original Blog
Award”, and this time from none else but my highly admired blogger M., I find
myself in the need of becoming a decent blogger who writes interesting posts. </span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">But I’ll leave that to growth XD.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I’m only going to write about my little
troubling dayly life today, because, for being my hollydays, it’s generating a
lot of anxiety.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">There are a bunch of factors, mainly a)
the fact that I couldn’t escape driving license this Summer, b) that my close
word is going through a creepy and disgusting political process in the form of
“youngsters’ conspiration” c) the constant harassment A. faces in front of me.</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Let’s develop!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">a) I will never make a safe driver of myself. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I don’t even want to drive,
I’ve never felt the slighest interest for it. But I live in a very small
village with no decent public transport system (I don’t enjoy public transport
a single bit, but I prefer that to having to drive myself) and I sometimes need
to go to places, such as, you know, class. Mom is sick of driving me, which is
understandable, and that’s why I’ve got to take my licence. First of all, let
me tell you that both taking the licence and driving in Spain are not as easy
as, say, in USA. I’m working on the thorical part of the licence right now,
most part of which I think is very stupid. I’ve got issues with studying stuff
I consider stupid. But that’s not the problem. The problem are the practical
licence and the lessons I will have to face to get it. I just don’t want to.
Practical lessons were always a hell for me, even when (as normally happened) I
already knew what I had to do. Imagine if I don’t. I’ll have to understand
everything the teacher asks me to do, and not be clumpsy, and not be too
nervous to move a muscle. And laugh at the teacher’s jokes, which includes
identifying them as jokes. I can’t do that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">And I can't keep a uniform attention level to the loads of things a driver needs to at the same time, and I can't not pay attention to loads of things that a driver needs to ignore. And I get easily overwelmed by stimuli when I'm forcefully paying attention to things, and then I suddenly need to stop working and put my back on a corner and close my eyes and ears and let my brain process all the accumulated stimuli before being able to face the world again. It doesn´t sound safe to do that while driving.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">And this may sound horrible for
some of you but I’m not anything into doing stuff I don’t think I can do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Look foward for new posts for points b and c (you may have them both, or one of them, or none, before the day ends).</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-56771882882828708112012-06-21T19:41:00.000+02:002012-06-21T19:41:01.576+02:00Meme! Reading Habits<br />
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I
just read this meme at <a href="http://jillianreadsbooks2.wordpress.com/2012/06/20/my-reading-habits-a-meme-for-midweek/" target="_blank">A Room of One's Own</a> and decided I wanted to play too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Do you snack while you read? If so, your favorite reading snack? </b>I sometimes do. Whatever (I'm a heavy snacker)<b>. </b>Also, it is good since it<b> </b>keeps me "active" while reading so I can keep my attention longer, if not, I suddenly feel like doing stuff (drawing, writing, sewing...) while reading and the situation turns unconfortable. But it is a problem if the snack ends before the reading is over.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>What is your favorite drink while reading? </b>Also whatever. Ideally, tea, but mostly coke.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Do you mark your books as you read, or does the idea of writing in a
book horrify you? </b>The idea of writing in a book horrifies me, but I need to take notes while reading (I've montioned it before) so I keep a noebook by my side. If I don't have a notebook, I pick a piece of paper, a tissue, something, and if there's nothing at reach, then I write on the book. Theese notes are usually artistic. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span lang="EN-GB">If I find notes of previous readers in a book I'm reading, my reaction varies from total horror to delight depending on the quality of the notes and the caligraphy. </span><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span lang="EN-GB"><b>How do you keep your place while reading a book? Bookmark? Dog-ears?
Laying the book half open? </b>Bookmark. Sometimes dog-ears, but I don't like it. I try to keep a bookmark for each book I read.</span><span lang="EN-GB"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Fiction, non-fiction, or both? </b>Fiction? But I'm lately reading loads of non-fiction and enjoying it a lot.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Are you a person who tends to read to the end of a chapter, or can you
stop anywhere? </b>To the end of the chapter. If not, to the end of a scene, if not, to the end of a paragraph. But to the end of a chapter if there's not some superior force impeding it. </span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Are you the type of person to throw a book across the the room or on the
floor if the author irritates you? </b>Never done it. I normally put the bookmark on place, close he book, have a look at the cover, feel dissapointed, and quietly put the book aside, but on a different place than the books I'm reading (for example, if I'm reading on the bed, I don't leave the book on the side table but on the floor under it).</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>If you come across an unfamiliar word, do you stop and look it up right
away? </b>Depends on how close the dictionary is. If I'm reading on my Kindle, I look it right away, but I'll never move to pick up the dictionary, I would write the word in my notebook and look it up when I'm finished reading.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>What are you currently reading? </b>A bunch of things: Jane Eyre, The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, The Bluest Eye, Teoría Lingüística: Métodos, Herramientas y Paradigmas, Introducción a la Literatura Griega, Death Comes to Pemberley, Polygamy, El Marino que Perdió la Gracia del Mar, and some mangas.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>What is the last book you bought? </b>A lovely pack from Amazon: Norton Antology of American Literature, A History of the English Language, International English, a Guide to the Varieties of Standard English; Doing Pragmatics, Syntax, a Generative Introduction; and In Other Words, a Coursebook in Translation. All for my next courses classes.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Are you the kind of person that reads one book at a time, or can you
read more than one? </b>Unbelievable as it may seem, I prefer to read one book at a time. But there's that much stuff I want to read that I can't do it! Also, I'm a student, so I've got to read more than one thing at a time.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Do you have a favorite time and place to read? </b>I love lazy late mornings on bed, and also insomniac late nights on my desk. Park afternoons when the weather is cool enought for the park to be deserted.<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Do you prefer series of books or stand alones? </b>Don't mind. But if it is a book I've loved, than I prefer if it is a series. I tend to miss characters.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>Is there a specific book or author you find yourself recommending over
and over? </b>I've been lately recommending "Wicked" because of how it shows the importance of prespective and reliability when you're told a story.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><b>How do you organize your
books? (By genre, title, author’s last name, etc.? </b>*looks at her shelves* I once organized my fiction books alphabetically by authors last name and title, but little of that is left now. Mangas are in their own shelf (by series, of course, and by size), and so are guides and monographs (general ones) (by subjects) and then my course textbooks, by subject and size.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I would love to read of your reading habits, so please link back if you take this meme!</span>Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-41049924258901378472012-06-13T16:54:00.000+02:002012-06-13T16:54:41.342+02:00Premio Blog OriginalHace ya un porrón de tiempo de que <a href="http://aspiechan.blogspot.com.es/" target="_blank">Saiko</a> me otrorgó el Premio Blog Original (estoy orgullosísima y podéis ver el icono correspondiente a la derecha). Ya se lo agradecí, pero dejé pendientes mis responsabilidades al respecto.<br />
<br />
Como receptora del premio tengo que nombrar a quién me lo concedió (ya lo he hecho), compartir una frase que me defina especialmente y conceder el premio a 10 blogs.<br />
<br />
Mi frase es "L'enfer, c'est les autres" de Jean Paul Sartre, que se traduce como "el infierno son los demás" (aunque en su contexto se refiere a un "los demás" específico, en el mío es la gente en general XD).<br />
<br />
Y ahora vienen mis premios. No van a ser 10 blogs los premiados, porque quiero atenerme a un criterio de originalidad real, y por alguna otra razón también (complicada de explicar).<br />
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1.: Aunque ya lo tiene, se lo devuelvo: <a href="http://aspiechan.blogspot.com.es/" target="_blank">Aspie-Chan</a> , de Saiko.<br />
2.: <a href="http://unlibroesotrahistoria.blogspot.com.es/" target="_blank">Un libro... es otra historia</a> , de M. Me parece una iniciativa genial.<br />
3.: <a href="http://mdescubriendoelmundo.blogspot.com.es/" target="_blank">Desde mi libertad</a> <br />
4.: <a href="http://laorugadormida.blogspot.com.es/" target="_blank">Diario de una (casi) maestra descubriendo el mundo</a>, también de M. : siempre que paso, aprendo algo.<br />
5.: <a href="http://elsonidodelahierbaelcrecer.blogspot.com.es/" target="_blank">El sonido de la hierba al crecer</a> , de Anabel<br />
6.: <a href="http://hastalalunaidayvuelta.blogspot.com.es/" target="_blank">Hasta la luna ida y vuel...TA</a> (5. y 6. porque con madres así, da gusto)<br />
7.: <a href="http://tocloudor.blogspot.com.es/" target="_blank">·Make Up Your Mind·</a> , de Cinnamon Cloud. Un blog de maquillaje que a veces sorprende, y siempre entretiene. No me pasa con muchos.<br />
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Y con eso están todos.<br />
Los premiados tienen que:<br />
Nombrar a quein les dio el premio<br />
Compartir una frase que les defina<br />
Premiar 10 blogs<br />
Comentar en el último post de los blogs a los que han premiado.<br />
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Y listo, Calisto.Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-70931056713419343772012-06-09T21:53:00.000+02:002012-06-09T21:53:01.214+02:00I'm finished!Ayer hice el último examen de este curso, y es probable que lo tenga que repetir en septiembre, pero tal y como tengo la cabeza ni siquiera me importa. No creo que me quede ninguna otra así que dedicaré el verano al alemán (que aprobar aprobaré, pero no tengo ni idea) y a Literatura Clásica, que es la que supongo que me quedará.<br />
Quiero aprovechar y acabar de leer todas esas novelas que tenía que leer para el curso y he dejado a medias: The Bluest Eye, The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, Medea, Moll Flanders, Jane Eyre, Frankenstein...<br />
Y me cogeré los libros de tercero prontito para empezar el curso que viene con el primer vistazo ya echado, así que ya os contaré lo que me parecen.<br />
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Aunque todavía no está decidido, supongo que me volverán a coger para la ludoteca, y con eso y el bar, ya tengo curro más que de sobra, pero tengo que sumarle las clases particulares (me quiero centrar en el Inglés, que es lo mío, y ya tengo una candidata: G). Y a ver si <a href="http://www.replica-animal.com/" target="_blank">mi tío</a> decide repetir en la Feria Ornitológica de Ruthland y me lleva de intérprete.<br />
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Cabe la posibilidad de que me escape unos días a Madrid este mes para atender un seminario de Lingüística el 18, pero me viene mal porque tendría que marchar el domingo.<br />
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Sigo sin tener ninguna intención de sacarme el carnet de conducir porque no quiero, porque no me parece que sea seguro que yo conduzca un coche y porque no y punto así que espero que nadie me insista demasiado (aunque sé que pasará).<br />
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La semana que viene, sin falta, me pondré con los posts que tengo pendientes, e intentaré llevar un ritmo de publicación uniforme y continuado durante todo el verano, ya veremos si lo consigo. Y a ver si se me desembota la cabeza y vuelvo al inglés.<br />
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¡Ah! Hoy hemos tenido visita de <a href="http://www.nereadediego.com/" target="_blank">mi prima</a> y a lo mejor me encarga alguna traducción :)<br />
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Y estas son mis perspectivas hasta octubre...Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-12439417495259931362012-05-31T23:11:00.000+02:002012-05-31T23:11:40.921+02:00¡hey!Escribo este post sólo para que sepáis que sigo viva XD y que la vida me va aceptablemente bien :)<br />
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Ya he hecho tres exámenes, pero me quedan cuatro para la semana que viene así que tengo mucho que estudiar. Además he tenido taquicardias y me estoy quitando la cafeína (más o menos) y no lo llevo del todo bien: me cuesta muchísimo concentrarme.<br />
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Tengo una lista de posts pendientes que va creciendo y creciendo... supongo que los iré escribiendo a partir del 9 de junio.<br />
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Por lo demás, ¡quiero ir a Madrid! ¡pero no debo!<br />
La razón principal por la que quiero ir es para asistir a un concierto de una gentecilla... pero no llevo bien los conciertos (gente, ruido, ruido, gente, ...). Además nadie quiere venirse conmigo. Pero yo quiero ir. Más que nada, quiero irme, quiero salir de aquí, porque empiezo a estar un poco negra de ciertas cosas, de detalles que se van acumulando en mi pecho y acaban por no dejarme respirar. Ay.<br />
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La semana que viene me estaré quedando en casa de mi abuela así que no tendré internet siquiera...<br />
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Eso es un poco todo.<br />
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<br />Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-50927992053819938152012-05-17T12:15:00.001+02:002012-05-17T12:16:14.503+02:00Maiatzak 17"Happy birthday to me"<br />
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But the day is not going any well... :'(<br />
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And now, I'm going back to Elizabeth Gaskell.Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-77021243730823757882012-05-03T22:26:00.000+02:002012-05-03T22:52:51.810+02:00Premio Blog OriginalEl otro día Saiko, <a href="http://aspiechan.blogspot.com.es/" target="_new"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Aspie-chan</span></a>, me concedió el Premio Blog Original.<br />
Gracias :)<br />
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Según las reglas me toca otorgárselo a otros 10 blogs y compartir una frase que me defina.<br />
Sé que tengo que hacerlo, está en mi mente.<br />
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Y lo haré: sólo pido un poco de paciencia.<br />
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Porque el otro día, ilusionadísima con el premio, empecé a hacerlo y no tardé en darme cuenta de que es un tremendo berenjenal, y ahora mismo estoy liadísima y tal y cual y pascual.Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-91119423103672068182012-04-27T23:20:00.003+02:002012-04-27T23:25:15.371+02:00my bad/big surpriseI just stopped both blogging and caring about blogs for a whole month. I'm sorry. In case anyone missed me.<br />
Sadly enought, it is not that I was doing any interesting stuff (I would have posted about it if I had!) or studying hard or anything I just went messy. My bad.<br />
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And for you to know, the only reason why I'm writing now is that, well... I'm surprised. You may even have missed me after all! I mean: I logged in in my account in order to enter <span style="color: #a64d79;"><a href="http://unlibroesotrahistoria.blogspot.com.es/" target="_new">a new blog</a> </span>in my bloglist and found that in this silent month of mine my blog has received more visits than in any other (I'm gonna skip the details, it's too shameful).<br />
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Don't think of this post as me coming back but just as me saying "don't you guys worry, I'm still alive", mainly because I've got my exams on three weeks now and I'm pretty far behind in every single subject so I shouldn't be back precisely now or whatever but I may even be. Who knows.<br />
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And who knows about that book challenge and who knows about everything else...<br />
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Well, you can count with me being back the moment I've got something to say.<br />
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This post was some sort of "thank you for being there even if I'm not".<br />
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That's it.Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-52875385359146461222012-03-28T11:49:00.000+02:002012-05-03T22:52:36.851+02:00Gallardon 'the Hater'I thought that, as a spanish citizen, my rights on abortion were safe... but the woman haters (PP) are back in power with absolute majority and their moves have started.<br />
It had been hinted that, if they won, the homosexual marriage law would be at risk, but they have decided to start with abortion.<br />
Alberto Ruiz Gallardon, who is known for bieng the most left sided person in the political party he belongs to (PP) stated the following in an open session in the congress:<br />
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"La maternidad es lo que hace a las mujeres verdaderamente mujeres [...][y los poderes públicos tienen que actuar] para garantizar el derecho a la maternidad".<br />
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Literal translation:<br />
"Motherhood is what makes women real women [...] and the public powers have to act to grant the right of motherhood".<br />
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In context, what he said is that motherhood is what makes women real women and because of that abortion should be ilegal, because it keeps women from complete realization, and that the government intends to take measures in that direction.<br />
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There are a bunch of things I'd like to point out.<br />
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<ol>
<li>This person, as male, has no right or knowledge to decide what's what makes us women.</li>
<li>I may even believe, that <u>in my own case</u>, it is possible that I think motherhood is the only way of bringing <u>me</u> complete happyness, but I still made a choice not to have children. This person doesn't have the right to force me to personal realization.</li>
<li>Let's say we were living in a creepy society where personal realization was, in fact, compulsory. Where does Gallardón's reasoning leave all that women who, for one reason or another, are incapable of giving birth? Why does he condemn them to not being able of being real women?</li>
<li>In what universe is a relation between granting the right of motherhood and ilegalizing abortion? Why are motherhood and abortion treated as contraries when they are not? Can't you have an abortion at 18 because you don't feel ready to have kids yet and have then later in your live? Can't you be a mother of a dozen of kids who decides that thirteen is too many?</li>
<li>Why does he say "grant the right of motherhood" when the only thing understandable from his logic is the "destruction of the right to choose motherhood"? Is he really spaeking of making motherhood compulsory? Because that's what it sounds like.</li>
</ol>
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Really, I prefer the "abortion is murder" line by too much.</div>
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<br />Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-87024715254311830632012-03-27T20:13:00.001+02:002012-05-03T22:52:16.653+02:00When your rivals dissapoint you...It has happened to me several times that, after hearing/reading something that really annoys me, like, enought to give a reply, it is missunderstood, often as a possitive comment.<br />
In that cases the severe idiocy of the person I'm trying to comunicate with dissapoints that much it leaves me with nothing else to say.<br />
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And it happened yesterday.<br />
April is coming so the web is full of what I call "Autism Awareness Bullshit" and I ran into a gorgeous example on twitter.<br />
I'm going to reproduce that and the subsequent conversation here for you to enjoy:<br />
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<ul>
<li>@Kittysolpink said: <span style="color: #0b5394;">"Remember next month is Autism awareness. Hoping for a cure for all those dealing with this condition."</span></li>
<li>I (@SaiShi_Shi) couldn't stop myself and replied: <span style="color: #0b5394;">"@Kittysolpink I've got #Aspergers and I'm hoping for a cure for all those dealing with your condition."</span></li>
<li>The brilliant answer I got was:<span style="color: #0b5394;">"@SaiShi_Shi I do not have the condition my nephew those."</span></li>
</ul>
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I just managed to assume she meant "does" when wrote "those" in that last tweet. Everything else is buried that deep in idiocy it keeps being a mystery for me.<br />
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Maybe twitter need italics, or bolds, or something...</div>Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028909879731919302.post-24794153751269473382012-03-22T11:37:00.000+01:002012-05-03T22:51:38.759+02:00Reto: 30 días de libros. Día 1: tu libro favorito.<br />
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 10.5pt;"><a href="http://nominatissima.wordpress.com/2012/03/15/thirty-day-book-challenge-day-one-your-favourite-book/">Ya explicó Nominatissima lo difícil que es escoger un libro favorito</a> (o un "loqueseaqueteguste" favorito.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family: 'Courier New'; font-size: 10.5pt;">Así que no sé. No tengo ni idea!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Me pasé toda la adolescencia diciendo que "El Elfo Oscuro", de R.A. Salvatore, era mi libro favorito. Todavía me encanta, pero el cariño que le tengo (y también el que le tenía entonces) se lo tengo más por ser un símbolo en mi vida que como obra literaria. Lo que sea.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Y eso es lo que pasa con la mayoría de los libros que me encantan. No me encantan por el argumento, los personajes o el lenguaje sino por razones externas, porque los relaciono con experiencias personales, y no me parece que ése sea el método para elegir un libro favorito.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Y para colmo, tengo una cosa especial con los libros que me hace disfrutar de todo lo que leo, o si no, no lo leo, y tengo una estantería llena de libros justo detrás de mi escritorio y miro entre los títulos y ninguno sobresale por haberme gustado más que el resto.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Pero.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;">El libro que he recomendado a más gente los últimos años es "El Cuento Número Trece" de Diane Setterfield (ojo, que recomiendo la versión original, no creo que a un libro como ése le haya sentado bien el español), así que lo voy a elegir como mi favorito.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Lo que más me gustó fue el lenguaje, la forma en la que está escrito, y el ambiente.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Leo acompañada de una libreta y un boli desde que leí "El Mundo de Sofía" a los 16, y anoto las cosas que me llaman la atención, o las ideas que me vienen a la mente al leer una cierta frase. Anoté toneladas de cosas al leer "El Cuento Número Trece". Me cautivaron las palabras: las imágenes, las metáforas. Me cautivó la tragedia. Me cautivó el hecho de que la historia estuviera aislada de todo y que no echara en falta nada mientras leía.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;">Cuando lo leí por segunda vez encontré alguna cosilla que no me gustó (sobre todo el tratamiento que se le da al personaje de Adeline) pero la primera vez no hubo nada, nada que rompiera el hechizo. Me empapé del universo Angelfield como no me he empapado de ningún otro.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New';"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br /></span></span>Saia Sikirahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05781079192557627122noreply@blogger.com0