Driving while autistic. Aspxiety.

After doubly recibing the “original Blog Award”, and this time from none else but my highly admired blogger M., I find myself in the need of becoming a decent blogger who writes interesting posts.

But I’ll leave that to growth XD.

I’m only going to write about my little troubling dayly life today, because, for being my hollydays, it’s generating a lot of anxiety.

There are a bunch of factors, mainly a) the fact that I couldn’t escape driving license this Summer, b) that my close word is going through a creepy and disgusting political process in the form of “youngsters’ conspiration” c) the constant harassment A. faces in front of me.

Let’s develop!

a) I will never make a safe driver of myself. 
I don’t even want to drive, I’ve never felt the slighest interest for it. But I live in a very small village with no decent public transport system (I don’t enjoy public transport a single bit, but I prefer that to having to drive myself) and I sometimes need to go to places, such as, you know, class. Mom is sick of driving me, which is understandable, and that’s why I’ve got to take my licence. First of all, let me tell you that both taking the licence and driving in Spain are not as easy as, say, in USA. I’m working on the thorical part of the licence right now, most part of which I think is very stupid. I’ve got issues with studying stuff I consider stupid. But that’s not the problem. The problem are the practical licence and the lessons I will have to face to get it. I just don’t want to. Practical lessons were always a hell for me, even when (as normally happened) I already knew what I had to do. Imagine if I don’t. I’ll have to understand everything the teacher asks me to do, and not be clumpsy, and not be too nervous to move a muscle. And laugh at the teacher’s jokes, which includes identifying them as jokes. I can’t do that. 
And I can't keep a uniform attention level to the loads of things a driver needs to at the same time, and I can't not pay attention to loads of things that a driver needs to ignore. And I get easily overwelmed by stimuli when I'm forcefully paying attention to things, and then I suddenly need to stop working and put my back on a corner and close my eyes and ears and let my brain process all the accumulated stimuli before being able to face the world again. It doesn´t sound safe to do that while driving.

And this may sound horrible for some of you but I’m not anything into doing stuff I don’t think I can do.




Look foward for new posts for points b and c (you may have them both, or one of them, or none, before the day ends).