I know it's a little late for this, but: New Year's Meme

I got the meme from Voxcorvegis.
Here I come:


1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

I came au-pairing. I stimmed in public being concious of what I was doing. I met M. in person. I let R. kiss me and I cried for him. A. went all the way from Sevilla to my house to visit me.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't normally do proper new years resolutions. The olny resolution I remember taking last year (as always) is "OK, I'm gonna start seriously studying" and it wasn't realted to the new year, just to the exams the last week of January. I didn't keep it (but I passed everything).

3. How (will you be spending) /did you spend New Year’s Eve?

I had a lovely Spanish dinner with M., J., and L. at L.'s house, we sort of went out and then we all slept together. It was bizarre and nice.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Maki, my dog, died last winter. R.'s dad died too, and F. too. Lot's of deaths, actually...

5. What countries did you visit?

Ireland.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Sanity. And spoons enough to want to have a couple.

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

August 25, because I felt bad, stupid and ridiculous. September 28 because it's the day I got to Cork and December 23, because there's something it hurts about small coincidences.

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?

Mhhh... I'm mastering my spoons pretty well... and I passed a subject having opened it's books only the day of the exam.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don't have spoons enough to want to have a relationship with someone, no matter how much I like them.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Throat infection, as always, a fair share of anxiety, and that's it.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Mh... can't think of anything remarcable. 

12. Where did most of your money go?

University.

13. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Paradise by Coldplay, probably. And Ken Zazpi's Zapalduen Olerkia.

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Studying, specially German.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Nothing? Now, literally, nothing, like, spacing out.

16. What was your favorite TV program?

Big Bang Theory, for a change. And, like, from October on, my favorite show from the ones I actually get to see would be... hold on tight... Austin and Ally. 

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I can't remember hating anyone. Actively, I mean. 

18. What was the best book you read?

I didn't read that much this year. I liked The Woman who Walked into Doors a lot.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Brook Davis :)

20. What was your favorite film of this year?

The Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey. What else.

21. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I got to be 22. I didn't do anything special, holding to the lame excuse that my birthday is during exams season.

22. What kept you sane?

Knowing and being conscious of my insanity, and some people who's willing to help.

23. Who did you miss?

I miss R. and E. and M1. I don't really miss my parents.

24. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned.

Oh I learnt and practised a lot thinking/saying "Whatever" and walking away when I didn't like someone or what someone was saying.

25. What does 2013 hold for me?

It hold for precious months here and it holds going back home. It holds post exams holiday in London. It holds starting my last year to get my degree. It holds facing and doing soething about my father's disease. It probably holds a huge lot of frustration, stress and anxiety.

It looks 2012 was a pretty plain year up to October xD thanks Cork and everyone there :)

I found my spot

It's been two months since I came here aupairing, and they0ve been great, but.
As my bedroom is not my bedroom because my house is not my house and my family are not my family, I was missing having a safe spot.
Having a gorgeous rocking chair in a corner in my bedroom made that absence easier to deal with, but still.

And the other day I found something brilliant in my mail: "Loud Hands". And I started reading it right away, but I felt I needed a safe spot to read it as it deserves to be read.

And I've got to babysit tonight so going all the way to cork to be back early, having into account that there's no bus to come back early, didn't seem a good idea.

So this morning, after all the cries have ceased (it's amazing how much the kids cry when I'm not around) I've got out of bed, had some breakfast, paced some lunch, put "Loud Hands" in my Kindle, and walked away, looking for a nice spot to make mine.

I've walked quite a bit but then: there was a meadow, loud enough to be a nice meadow but not too lopud to make an annoying unpleasant sound; there was trees, and rocks, and this magic green climbing up the trees and covering up the rocks. And there was a nice flat rock with no moss on it and it all was by the tiniest road ever, and there was no houses around and it was perfect.
So I sat there and drank my tea and smoked half a pack of cigarrettes and read and it was perfect.

And when I was coming back I thought of what I need to make it be always perfect and.

I'm very happy right now.


About how it is to be an Aspie-Aupair: well, I'm managing it the same nasty way I manage my whole life-passing, but it's somehow not that hard, or harsh, or whatever. I guess every aupair needs to pass, too.
And I just can't believe how lucky I've been because my kids are amazing and very easy to handle.

There is something, now.

I'm being exploited when it comes to housework.
Somehow or other, I knew it was going to happen from the very begining, and I just chose to accept it.
Because the last (and first) time I tried to live on my own... well... that experience made it clear I couldn't.
But because I've got an enormous sense of obligation, I'm actually able to do everything the house needs to get done here, and you know, maybe I can get used to it, or at least, become permanently aware of what needs to be done, and whatever.

The stuff I'm not managing well are, my showers (sorry for that to everyone around me) and socialising with my host parents (butnow, I didn't really talk to my parents at home, either...).