[Y de repente te das cuenta de que estás dando pasos de gigante hacia un futuro que te aterra, pero que tú has elegido. Y sientes miedo y orgullo, y mariposas en el estómago...]

So... It seems I’m... getting out of the closet. About my autism, that is.

One of the reasons why I finally thought “So what the fuck?” and went aupairing was that my friend M. was doing it, and reading about it in her blog, it looked amazing.

My relationship with M. begun around 2006 in a certain foto-blog plataform and we’ve been in touch via different social networks, and we follow each other blogs. So, she knows about my aspergers. I think she is actually the only person I knew before I found out that knows.

And I decided to come aupairing to Irealnd and I ended up in Co. Cork, were she is. And we met up (for the first time and it was weird and great and whatever).

But the thing is she knows.

And then one saturday night I told F., because I... felt like it.

So she knows too.

And we were chatting the other day and... well, if G. didn’t properly realize what’s going on, then he just sort of did, but it was stated clear that my mind works in a different way at least.

And I’m getting out of the closet and it feels... a lot of different things.

Of course it feels great. I had actually thought of this experience as a way of starting a life that makes me feel better, with less passing and more freedom, right from the instant “So what the fuck?” came into my mind. And being free to be yourself feels fucking great.

And of course it’s hella scary too, I mean, now I suddenly am openly* autistic, and I don’t really know what’s expected from me or to what point I can act like myself and not my passing self, and what aspects of my autistic mind are OK and not creepy to reveal to the people that I want to keep as friends, and how is people going to respond to it? Are they all going to start acting weird and ruin it all? And is it safe? or does it make me just even more vulnerable?

And them I’m proud, because I’m actively taking my own steps towards what I think it should be. Because, come on, asking for the right to be something you’re actually hiding you are is not exactly cool, right? And asking for better conditions and understanding for and about you while you’re not ready to show it is about you is both mean and... mean, right? And when you’re changing that hypocrite part of you (even if it’s only a small part of it, not the whole, not all at once, it feels good, and your self steem suddenly grows, because you don’t really accept yourself until you publicly accept yourself, right?

*Openly with my friends, even just with some of them (the friend-est ones anyway), that is, with the peope I freely relate with,  not with my hostfamily or the people we just hang out with.


I found my spot

It's been two months since I came here aupairing, and they0ve been great, but.
As my bedroom is not my bedroom because my house is not my house and my family are not my family, I was missing having a safe spot.
Having a gorgeous rocking chair in a corner in my bedroom made that absence easier to deal with, but still.

And the other day I found something brilliant in my mail: "Loud Hands". And I started reading it right away, but I felt I needed a safe spot to read it as it deserves to be read.

And I've got to babysit tonight so going all the way to cork to be back early, having into account that there's no bus to come back early, didn't seem a good idea.

So this morning, after all the cries have ceased (it's amazing how much the kids cry when I'm not around) I've got out of bed, had some breakfast, paced some lunch, put "Loud Hands" in my Kindle, and walked away, looking for a nice spot to make mine.

I've walked quite a bit but then: there was a meadow, loud enough to be a nice meadow but not too lopud to make an annoying unpleasant sound; there was trees, and rocks, and this magic green climbing up the trees and covering up the rocks. And there was a nice flat rock with no moss on it and it all was by the tiniest road ever, and there was no houses around and it was perfect.
So I sat there and drank my tea and smoked half a pack of cigarrettes and read and it was perfect.

And when I was coming back I thought of what I need to make it be always perfect and.

I'm very happy right now.

About how it is to be an Aspie-Aupair: well, I'm managing it the same nasty way I manage my whole life-passing, but it's somehow not that hard, or harsh, or whatever. I guess every aupair needs to pass, too.
And I just can't believe how lucky I've been because my kids are amazing and very easy to handle.

There is something, now.

I'm being exploited when it comes to housework.
Somehow or other, I knew it was going to happen from the very begining, and I just chose to accept it.
Because the last (and first) time I tried to live on my own... well... that experience made it clear I couldn't.
But because I've got an enormous sense of obligation, I'm actually able to do everything the house needs to get done here, and you know, maybe I can get used to it, or at least, become permanently aware of what needs to be done, and whatever.

The stuff I'm not managing well are, my showers (sorry for that to everyone around me) and socialising with my host parents (butnow, I didn't really talk to my parents at home, either...).


#CorkAdventure in a new blog

Thank's to Ana's amazing idea of keeping her informed of her boots' whereabouts, I've found a brilliant way of relating my new life as an aupair in Cork.
And I'll do it in a new blog, DYKE BOOTS

I'm not 100% sure yet but I'll probably do it in Spanish, as the rest of my life's gonna be in English, but who knows anyway.

I will repost here anything I think is related to autism or important in some way not related to my auapir experience, and I promise I'll do an effort not to completely abandon this blog.

Don't forget to check it and you know :)


I hate it when people does things for me without me asking and they do them in the wrong way.

Like, you know, there's this guy who apparently likes me a lot, and yeah I also kind of like him, and he asked me to be his girlfriend but I said "no" because I was leaving, and the moment was not the best to explain things so I just said no.
And this morning he went to the restaurant before I was there and my mom told him I'm leaving.

So when I arrived he's looked at me with a sad look and he's said "So your leaving" and I said "Yes" and he asked "for how long" and I said "minimum 7 months" and his look's turned even sadder.

And shit.

(And yeah, this is me whining and I'm sorry about that but I needed to split it out)


Even if I shouldn't...

So, you know, me and blogging.
And still, I'm planning to star a brand new blog.
Because I'll be an au-pair as soon as October starts, and everyone else is too and I thought of a separate blog for au-pair matters and stories.

Even if I don't manage to have an only decent blog.
Even if I might not be the best au-pair in the world.


Driving while autistic. Aspxiety.

After doubly recibing the “original Blog Award”, and this time from none else but my highly admired blogger M., I find myself in the need of becoming a decent blogger who writes interesting posts.
But I’ll leave that to growth XD.

I’m only going to write about my little troubling dayly life today, because, for being my hollydays, it’s generating a lot of anxiety.

There are a bunch of factors, mainly a) the fact that I couldn’t escape driving license this Summer, b) that my close word is going through a creepy and disgusting political process in the form of “youngsters’ conspiration” c) the constant harassment A. faces in front of me.

Let’s develop!

a) I will never make a safe driver of myself. 
I don’t even want to drive, I’ve never felt the slighest interest for it. But I live in a very small village with no decent public transport system (I don’t enjoy public transport a single bit, but I prefer that to having to drive myself) and I sometimes need to go to places, such as, you know, class. Mom is sick of driving me, which is understandable, and that’s why I’ve got to take my licence. First of all, let me tell you that both taking the licence and driving in Spain are not as easy as, say, in USA. I’m working on the thorical part of the licence right now, most part of which I think is very stupid. I’ve got issues with studying stuff I consider stupid. But that’s not the problem. The problem are the practical licence and the lessons I will have to face to get it. I just don’t want to. Practical lessons were always a hell for me, even when (as normally happened) I already knew what I had to do. Imagine if I don’t. I’ll have to understand everything the teacher asks me to do, and not be clumpsy, and not be too nervous to move a muscle. And laugh at the teacher’s jokes, which includes identifying them as jokes. I can’t do that. 
And I can't keep a uniform attention level to the loads of things a driver needs to at the same time, and I can't not pay attention to loads of things that a driver needs to ignore. And I get easily overwelmed by stimuli when I'm forcefully paying attention to things, and then I suddenly need to stop working and put my back on a corner and close my eyes and ears and let my brain process all the accumulated stimuli before being able to face the world again. It doesn´t sound safe to do that while driving.

And this may sound horrible for some of you but I’m not anything into doing stuff I don’t think I can do.

Look foward for new posts for points b and c (you may have them both, or one of them, or none, before the day ends).


Meme! Reading Habits

I just read this meme at A Room of One's Own and decided I wanted to play too.

Do you snack while you read? If so,  your favorite reading snack? I sometimes do. Whatever (I'm a heavy snacker). Also, it is good since it keeps me "active" while reading so I can keep my attention longer, if not, I suddenly feel like doing stuff (drawing, writing, sewing...) while reading and the situation turns unconfortable. But it is a problem if the snack ends before the reading is over.

What is your favorite drink while reading? Also whatever. Ideally, tea, but mostly coke.

Do you mark your books as you read, or does the idea of writing in a book horrify you? The idea of writing in a book horrifies me, but I need to take notes while reading (I've montioned it before) so I keep a noebook by my side. If I don't have a notebook, I pick a piece of paper, a tissue, something, and if there's nothing at reach, then I write on the book. Theese notes are usually artistic. 
If I find notes of previous readers in a book I'm reading, my reaction varies from total horror to delight depending on the quality of the notes and the caligraphy. 

How do you keep your place while reading a book? Bookmark? Dog-ears? Laying the book half open? Bookmark. Sometimes dog-ears, but I don't like it. I try to keep a bookmark for each book I read.

Fiction, non-fiction, or both? Fiction? But I'm lately reading loads of non-fiction and enjoying it a lot.

Are you a person who tends to read to the end of a chapter, or can you stop anywhere? To the end of the chapter. If not, to the end of a scene, if not, to the end of a paragraph. But to the end of a chapter if there's not some superior force impeding it. 

Are you the type of person to throw a book across the the room or on the floor if the author irritates you? Never done it. I normally put the bookmark on place, close he book, have a look at the cover, feel dissapointed, and quietly put the book aside, but on a different place than the books I'm reading (for example, if I'm reading on the bed, I don't leave the book on the side table but on the floor under it).

If you come across an unfamiliar word, do you stop and look it up right away? Depends on how close the dictionary is. If I'm reading on my Kindle, I look it right away, but I'll never move to pick up the dictionary, I would write the word in my notebook and look it up when I'm finished reading.

What are you currently reading? A bunch of things: Jane Eyre, The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, The Bluest Eye, Teoría Lingüística: Métodos, Herramientas y Paradigmas, Introducción a la Literatura Griega, Death Comes to Pemberley, Polygamy, El Marino que Perdió la Gracia del Mar, and some mangas.

What is the last book you bought? A lovely pack from Amazon: Norton Antology of American Literature, A History of the English Language, International English, a Guide to the Varieties of Standard English; Doing Pragmatics, Syntax, a Generative Introduction; and In Other Words, a Coursebook in Translation. All for my next courses classes.

Are you the kind of person that reads one book at a time, or can you read more than one? Unbelievable as it may seem, I prefer to read one book at a time. But there's that much stuff I want to read that I can't do it! Also, I'm a student, so I've got to read more than one thing at a time.

Do you have a favorite time and place to read? I love lazy late mornings on bed, and also insomniac late nights on my desk. Park afternoons when the weather is cool enought for the park to be deserted.

Do you prefer series of books or stand alones? Don't mind. But if it is a book I've loved, than I prefer if it is a series. I tend to miss characters.

Is there a specific book or author you find yourself recommending over and over? I've been lately recommending "Wicked" because of how it shows the importance of prespective and reliability when you're told a story.

How do you organize your books? (By genre, title, author’s last name, etc.? *looks at her shelves* I once organized my fiction books alphabetically by authors last name and title, but little of that is left now. Mangas are in their own shelf (by series, of course, and by size), and so are guides and monographs (general ones) (by subjects) and then my course textbooks, by subject and size.

I would love to read of your reading habits, so please link back if you take this meme!


Premio Blog Original

Hace ya un porrón de tiempo de que Saiko me otrorgó el Premio Blog Original (estoy orgullosísima y podéis ver el icono correspondiente a la derecha). Ya se lo agradecí, pero dejé pendientes mis responsabilidades al respecto.

Como receptora del premio tengo que nombrar a quién me lo concedió (ya lo he hecho), compartir una frase que me defina especialmente y conceder el premio a 10 blogs.

Mi frase es "L'enfer, c'est les autres" de Jean Paul Sartre, que se traduce como "el infierno son los demás" (aunque en su contexto se refiere a un "los demás" específico, en el mío es la gente en general XD).

Y ahora vienen mis premios. No van a ser 10 blogs los premiados, porque quiero atenerme a un criterio de originalidad real, y por alguna otra razón también (complicada de explicar).

1.: Aunque ya lo tiene, se lo devuelvo: Aspie-Chan , de Saiko.
2.: Un libro... es otra historia , de M. Me parece una iniciativa genial.
3.: Desde mi libertad
4.: Diario de una (casi) maestra descubriendo el mundo, también de M. : siempre que paso, aprendo algo.
5.: El sonido de la hierba al crecer , de Anabel
6.: Hasta la luna ida y vuel...TA (5. y 6. porque con madres así, da gusto)
7.: ·Make Up Your Mind· , de Cinnamon Cloud. Un blog de maquillaje que a veces sorprende, y siempre entretiene. No me pasa con muchos.

Y con eso están todos.
Los premiados tienen que:
 Nombrar a quein les dio el premio
 Compartir una frase que les defina
 Premiar  10 blogs
 Comentar en el último post de los blogs a los que han premiado.

Y listo, Calisto.


I'm finished!

Ayer hice el último examen de este curso, y es probable que lo tenga que repetir en septiembre, pero tal y como tengo la cabeza ni siquiera me importa. No creo que me quede ninguna otra así que dedicaré el verano al alemán (que aprobar aprobaré, pero no tengo ni idea) y a Literatura Clásica, que es la que supongo que me quedará.
Quiero aprovechar y acabar de leer todas esas novelas que tenía que leer para el curso y he dejado a medias: The Bluest Eye, The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, Medea, Moll Flanders, Jane Eyre, Frankenstein...
Y me cogeré los libros de tercero prontito para empezar el curso que viene con el primer vistazo ya echado, así que ya os contaré lo que me parecen.

Aunque todavía no está decidido, supongo que me volverán a coger para la ludoteca, y con eso y el bar, ya tengo curro más que de sobra, pero tengo que sumarle las clases particulares (me quiero centrar en el Inglés, que es lo mío, y ya tengo una candidata: G). Y a ver si mi tío decide repetir en la Feria Ornitológica de Ruthland y me lleva de intérprete.

Cabe la posibilidad de que me escape unos días a Madrid este mes para atender un seminario de Lingüística el 18, pero me viene mal porque tendría que marchar el domingo.

Sigo sin tener ninguna intención de sacarme el carnet de conducir porque no quiero, porque no me parece que sea seguro que yo conduzca un coche y porque no y punto así que espero que nadie me insista demasiado (aunque sé que pasará).

La semana que viene, sin falta, me pondré con los posts que tengo pendientes, e intentaré llevar un ritmo de publicación uniforme y continuado durante todo el verano, ya veremos si lo consigo. Y a ver si se me desembota la cabeza y vuelvo al inglés.

¡Ah! Hoy hemos tenido visita de mi prima y a lo mejor me encarga alguna traducción :)

Y estas son mis perspectivas hasta octubre...



Escribo este post sólo para que sepáis que sigo viva XD y que la vida me va aceptablemente bien :)

Ya he hecho tres exámenes, pero me quedan cuatro para la semana que viene así que tengo mucho que estudiar. Además he tenido taquicardias y  me estoy quitando la cafeína (más o menos) y no lo llevo del todo bien: me cuesta muchísimo concentrarme.

Tengo una lista de posts pendientes que va creciendo y creciendo... supongo que los iré escribiendo a partir del 9 de junio.

Por lo demás, ¡quiero ir a Madrid! ¡pero no debo!
La razón principal por la que quiero ir es para asistir a un concierto de una gentecilla... pero no llevo bien los conciertos (gente, ruido, ruido, gente, ...). Además nadie quiere venirse conmigo. Pero yo quiero ir. Más que nada, quiero irme, quiero salir de aquí, porque empiezo a estar un poco negra de ciertas cosas, de detalles que se van acumulando en mi pecho y acaban por no dejarme respirar. Ay.

La semana que viene me estaré quedando en casa de mi abuela así que no tendré internet siquiera...

Eso es un poco todo.


Maiatzak 17

"Happy birthday to me"

But the day is not going any well... :'(

And now, I'm going back to Elizabeth Gaskell.


Premio Blog Original

El otro día Saiko, Aspie-chan, me concedió el Premio Blog Original.
Gracias :)

Según las reglas me toca otorgárselo a otros 10 blogs y compartir una frase que me defina.
Sé que tengo que hacerlo, está en mi mente.

Y lo haré: sólo pido un poco de paciencia.

Porque el otro día, ilusionadísima con el premio, empecé a hacerlo y no tardé en darme cuenta de que es un tremendo berenjenal, y ahora mismo estoy liadísima y tal y cual y pascual.


my bad/big surprise

I just stopped both blogging and caring about blogs for a whole month. I'm sorry. In case anyone missed me.
Sadly enought, it is not that I was doing any interesting stuff (I would have posted about it if I had!) or studying hard or anything I just went messy. My bad.

And for you to know, the only reason why I'm writing now is that, well... I'm surprised. You may even have missed me after all! I mean: I logged in in my account in order to enter a new blog in my bloglist and found that in this silent month of mine my blog has received more visits than in any other (I'm gonna skip the details, it's too shameful).

Don't think of this post as me coming back but just as me saying "don't you guys worry, I'm still alive", mainly because I've got my exams on three weeks now and I'm pretty far behind in every single subject so I shouldn't be back precisely now or whatever but I may even be. Who knows.

And who knows about that book challenge and who knows about everything else...

Well, you can count with me being back the moment I've got something to say.

This post was some sort of "thank you for being there even if I'm not".

That's it.


Gallardon 'the Hater'

I thought that, as a spanish citizen, my rights on abortion were safe... but the woman haters (PP) are back in power with absolute majority and their moves have started.
It had been hinted that, if they won, the homosexual marriage law would be at risk, but they have decided to start with abortion.
Alberto Ruiz Gallardon, who is known for bieng the most left sided person in the political party he belongs to (PP) stated the following in an open session in the congress:

"La maternidad es lo que hace a las mujeres verdaderamente mujeres [...][y los poderes públicos tienen que actuar] para garantizar el derecho a la maternidad".

Literal translation:
"Motherhood is what makes women real women [...] and the public powers have to act to grant the right of motherhood".

In context, what he said is that motherhood is what makes women real women and because of that abortion should be ilegal, because it keeps women from complete realization, and that the government intends to take measures in that direction.

There are a bunch of things I'd like to point out.

  1. This person, as male, has no right or knowledge to decide what's what makes us women.
  2. I may even believe, that in my own case, it is possible that I think motherhood is the only way of bringing me complete happyness, but I still made a choice not to have children. This person doesn't have the right to force me to personal realization.
  3. Let's say we were living in a creepy society where personal realization was, in fact, compulsory. Where does Gallardón's reasoning leave all that women who, for one reason or another, are incapable of giving birth? Why does he condemn them to not being able of being real women?
  4. In what universe is a relation between granting the right of motherhood and ilegalizing abortion? Why are motherhood and abortion treated as contraries when they are not? Can't you have an abortion at 18 because you don't feel ready to have kids yet and have then later in your live? Can't you be a mother of a dozen of kids who decides that thirteen is too many?
  5. Why does he say "grant the right of motherhood" when the only thing understandable from his logic is the "destruction of the right to choose motherhood"? Is he really spaeking of making motherhood compulsory? Because that's what it sounds like.

Really, I prefer the "abortion is murder" line by too much.


When your rivals dissapoint you...

It has happened to me several times that, after hearing/reading something that really annoys me, like, enought to give a reply, it is missunderstood, often as a possitive comment.
In that cases the severe idiocy of the person I'm trying to comunicate with dissapoints that much it leaves me with nothing else to say.

And it happened yesterday.
April is coming so the web is full of what I call "Autism Awareness Bullshit" and I ran into a gorgeous example on twitter.
I'm going to reproduce that and the subsequent conversation here for you to enjoy:

  • @Kittysolpink said: "Remember next month is Autism awareness. Hoping for a cure for all those dealing with this condition."
  • I (@SaiShi_Shi) couldn't stop myself and replied: "@Kittysolpink I've got #Aspergers and I'm hoping for a cure for all those dealing with your condition."
  • The brilliant answer I got was:"@SaiShi_Shi I do not have the condition my nephew those."
I just managed to assume she meant "does" when wrote "those" in that last tweet. Everything else is buried that deep in idiocy it keeps being a mystery for me.

Maybe twitter need italics, or bolds, or something...


Reto: 30 días de libros. Día 1: tu libro favorito.

Así que no sé. No tengo ni idea!

Me pasé toda la adolescencia diciendo que "El Elfo Oscuro", de R.A. Salvatore, era mi libro favorito. Todavía me encanta, pero el cariño que le tengo (y también el que le tenía entonces) se lo tengo más por ser un símbolo en mi vida que como obra literaria. Lo que sea.
Y eso es lo que pasa con la mayoría de los libros que me encantan. No me encantan por el argumento, los personajes o el lenguaje sino por razones externas, porque los relaciono con experiencias personales, y no me parece que ése sea el método para elegir un libro favorito.

Y para colmo, tengo una cosa especial con los libros que me hace disfrutar de todo lo que leo, o si no, no lo leo, y tengo una estantería llena de libros justo detrás de mi escritorio y miro entre los títulos y ninguno sobresale por haberme gustado más que el resto.


El libro que he recomendado a más gente los últimos años es "El Cuento Número Trece" de Diane Setterfield (ojo, que recomiendo la versión original, no creo que a un libro como ése le haya sentado bien el español), así que lo voy a elegir como mi favorito.
Lo que más me gustó fue el lenguaje, la forma en la que está escrito, y el ambiente.
Leo acompañada de una libreta y un boli desde que leí "El Mundo de Sofía" a los 16, y anoto las cosas que me llaman la atención, o las ideas que me vienen a la mente al leer una cierta frase. Anoté toneladas de cosas al leer "El Cuento Número Trece". Me cautivaron las palabras: las imágenes, las metáforas. Me cautivó la tragedia. Me cautivó el hecho de que la historia estuviera aislada de todo y que no echara en falta nada mientras leía.

Cuando lo leí por segunda vez encontré alguna cosilla que no me gustó (sobre todo el tratamiento que se le da al personaje de Adeline) pero la primera vez no hubo nada, nada que rompiera el hechizo. Me empapé del universo Angelfield como no me he empapado de ningún otro.

day 1: your favorite book

So, I don’t know. I ain’t got an idea!

I spent my teen years saying that “The Dark Elf” by R.A. Salvatore was my favorite book. I still love it a lot, but I love (and  loved) it more as a symbol in my life than as a piece of literature. Whatever.
And that’s what happens with most of the books I love. I don’t love them because of the plot and the language but because of external reasons, because I link them with personal experiences and I don’t think that’s the way of choosing a favorite book.

And then, I’ve got a thing for books, so I like and enjoy everything I read or else I don’t read it, and I’ve got a shelf full of books right behind my desk and I’m searching along the titles and none really stands out as one that I liked over the rest.


The book I recomended to more people in the last couple of years is Diane Setterfield’s “The Thirteenth Tale”, so I’ll choose it as my favorite.
I mostly liked the way it was writen, and the atmosphere.
I always have a pen and a notebook when I’m reading (since I read “Sophia’s World” then I was 16) and I note whatever thing that gets my atention or whatever thought I have while reading a certain phrase. I noted tones of things while reading “The Thirteenth Tale”. I loved the language above all, the images, the metaphors. I loved the tragedy. I loved how it was isolated from everything else and how you didn’t miss anything while reading.
When I read it for the 2nd time I found some things I didn’t like (mostly the treatment given  Adeline’s character) but the fisrt time, there was nothing, nothing, nothing that broke the enchantment. I was into the universe of Angelfiend as I have never been in any other.


Trying to get serious about blogging: 30 day book challenge

I picked this challenge from Nominatissima and she did from amandatheatheist.
I want to get serious about blogging but I can not, because I get lazy and it takes a lot of work to write a good post and all that stuff so I thought a series on a given subject like this one will help me. Also because I'm enjoying a lot Nominatissima's posts on it, I thought it would be fun doing it myself.
And I also want to get into criticism, and don't expect anything serious on that line at least on the first posts of the challenge butjust  maybe by the last ones?

So this is the thing:
Day 1: Favorite book
Day 2: Least favorite book
Day 3: Book that makes you laugh out loud
Day 4: Book that makes you cry
Day 5: Book you wish you could live in
Day 6: Favorite young adult book
Day 7: Book that you can quote/recite
Day 8: Book that scares you
Day 9: Book that makes you
Day 10: Book that changed your
Day 11: Book from your favorite
Day 12: Book that is most like your life
Day 13: Book whose main character is most like you
Day 14: Book whose main character you want to marry
Day 15: First “chapter book” you can remember reading as a child
Day 16: Longest book you’ve read
Day 17: Shortest book you’ve read
Day 18: Book you’re most embarrassed to say you like
Day 19: Book that turned you on
Day 20: Book you’ve read the most number of times
Day 21: Favorite picture book from childhood
Day 22: Book you plan to read next
Day 23: Book you tell people you’ve read, but haven’t (or haven’t actually finished)
Day 24: Book that contains your favorite scene
Day 25: Favorite book you read in school
Day 26: Favorite nonfiction book
Day 27: Favorite fiction book
Day 28: Last book you read
Day 29: Book you’re currently reading
Day 30: Favorite coffee table book

I'll have the first post by tomorrow, and I'll try to have one each weekday (it's not that I don't work on weekends but that I do XD).
I'm also thinking of writing the posts of this series both in English and in Spanish, because my Spanish followers never read my blog? and I'm hoping it is a languague issue. And because I'm losing the ability to think in Spanish myself- creepy.

So!: see you tomorrow :)



It's been a while since Clarissa expressed her opinion about brilliance in students and it made me think "Oh, she's wrong, she's so wrong" but I decided not to tell my opinion in that moment.
However, I've just received evidence to support my view and that's why I'm writing this (which is bassically boasting).

I'm cursing my second year in "Estudios Ingleses: Lengua, Literatura y Cultura" at unibersity. I made an enormous mistake (or maybe, not that enourmous, or not a mistake at all xD) and took all the subjects of the course. I soon learnt that there wasn't time for all that in my life. The most time consuming subject was "Gender and Literature in English Speaking Countries". I loved it, so totally loved it, but properly working on it was going to make me fail the rest of the subjects, so I dropped it. I would work hard on it my whole Summer and take my exam on September.

So I dind't prepare the subject at all.
I decided to do the exam anyway, just to give it a try.

And well, it's a shame I will not be able to get a distinction on September... but I'm pretty happy with my 80 points!!

And now, the conclussion of it all: Brilliance does work, but you've got to be brilliant enought.



This post will be inmenselly stupid but I relly need to blurt it out...

I've been reading tons and tons of shoujo manga lately, concretelly school-life ones: "Usotsuki Lily", "Love Berrish", <<Say "I love you">>, "Strobe Edge", "Five" (this one is fun :)), "Stardus Wink", "Rockin' Heaven", "Love and Noise" and "Hiyokoi".

It's an emergency situation!
At this rate, I will dump Dir en Grey for Ayumi Hamasaki any day now-

The thing is that I can not find any decent manga lately. So just in case anyone has a recomendation: Please!! I can not have any other troubled heroine in love!!
I need to find something engaging and interesting in the lines of Dead Note, Deadman Wonderland, Para-Paru or even Fairy Tail-
There are a bunch of interesting looking stories out there but the drawings are horrible in all of them, and that's what's good in those shoujo mangas: the drawings need to be as cute as the characters, so they're good.


There's a gigant chainsaw out there and it's coming for me

I'm so scared.
I've gone out for my everyday after-dinner quiet lonely walk.
I live in a very tine village and there's literally none out at this time, never. If there's someone, I just avoid them.

So I've gone out for my everyday after-dinner quiet lonely walk, and as I walked, a noise started. It was a motor sound, and it has gone gradually louder. And louder. And louder until I couldn't stand it anymore and I've begun to run, but the noise was still growing louder and louder and I ran and ran and then I've just come home and I'm so scared.

I still have got the noise in my brain.

Whatever thing it was making the sound, it shouldn't be permitted for it to exist.

But I wonder what it was?


no todos somos "mamis" / It's not just moms

The definition for autism in the DRAE (official spanish dictionary) was just horrible and after many attempts a mainly social-network based initiative has achieved it: they are changing it for the next edition (2014) and I guess they'll change it on the web's advance to the new edition too (it's not done yet, don't know why) for a somehow better one. Whatever, that's not my point.
So everyone is celebrating it. It's on Twitter, loads of blogs, and newspapers, problaby in the news. Everyone is happy. Everyone is congratulating all the hard working moms and families.

It's not just the fucking moms, you know? There's loads of people who's not anyone's mom. Some are just concerned people that don't need to be a kid's mom to try and help. Some of us are just  autistics fighting for our own sake.
It's something we are able to do, and we do it.
We ourselves are part of it.
It's no ggod if you are celebrating something because it's good for us and you leave us out of it-

Oh my, I am annoyed.

P.S.: Sorry for the moms out there. I usually read some of your blogs and that stuff and I know you are working hard (whether it is in the right path or not, I'm not discussing now) and it's not you who's making me annoyed and this mad post is not against you, even if it may look like. Just, "oh, sorry!", because I'm not erasing the "fucking".


Love Berrish / Transsexualism

I’ve lately been devoting just too big a percentage of my time to Manga considering I’m in my exams weeks (but I’m a good girl and ‘ve read The Woman who Walked Into Doors too, and I’m, by the way, loving it a lot).
The thing is that the last manga I’ve been reading (Love Berrish) has got a transsexual character on it.
And I totally love how it’s just a character, not even the main one, just a friend, and how there’s not any fuss about her gender issues (gender issues?) apart from what herself makes (she’s 16 and she’s not having an easy time and whatever, and some people seem to be eager to expose her and she lacks confidence, but you know, that’s all part of being 16 too...).
So I reckon this is really good for the normalization and acceptation of transsexualism in society, much better than those documentaries Nominatissima wrote about and their weird emphasises*. Just click the link to understand what I'm refering to.
I may even be wrong, since I’m not really into this and my focus may be not the best one, but still: it just made me happy.

*Is emphasises the plural for emphasis? My English is just shit-


apart from that..

I had my first exam of this term today! It was English Literature, and it has gone pretty well. Even the answers I've made up were good (malapropism from Mrs Malaprop... was not exactly difficult). and then the essay was pretty easy to develop (How does the plot develop towards a happy ending in Pride and Prejudice and Moll Flanders?), but there is just no topic about which I can not write 250 words in 2 hours time. That's the annoying thing... they should ask a little more from us!

So it was cool.
Haven't seen anyone, though... where're my classmates? lazy bunch of people dropped everything for the last week?

And I'm still thinking on doing that meme about 6 fictional characters I feel identificated with... I suppose you'll have it for friday...

So that's it!
And oh, this weekend is the last of my working hollydays-shit.

may it be just that?

I think I've already said somewhere that I always thought of love as curiosity towards someone. Well, not really love but just liking someone, or feeling atracted by someone. But I thought it was just me, or maybe something related to my vivid interests.
So, you know what? I'm reading a manga (I'm not going to share any details about it just because... yet if someone is interested it can be asked... but the thing is that the main topic of this post is not the main topic of the manga...). On it, "love" is defined as "infinite interest".
So maybe that idea is widespread? I would be glad if you shared your thoughts on it.


can't stop laughing

I've seen this in twitter...
and oh, it's just for Spanish speakers...
But I've got to share it!

"-Yo te quiero, pero como amigos...
-¡¿Comes amigos?!"

Translation (it won't make sense...):
"<<I love you, but just as friends...>>
<<Do you eat friends?!>>"

The word for "as" and the 1st person singular for the verb "to eat" are the same in Spanish.


The Loud Hands Project

I should be studying so I'm not going to share any kind of personal experience or thought regarding this. I just think a look (at least) is worth it. The video is a really beautiful thing.
The project has got a facebook page, a twitter account and a tumblr page full of information.

They need money, even if they've already achieved their first goal. If you want to donate, here is their Indie gogo site.

Debería estar estudiando así que no voy a compartir ningun tipo de experiencia personal o reflexión sobre esto. Sólo quería decir que echar un ojo (al menos) merece la pena. El vídeo es algo verdaderamente precioso.
El proyecto tiene facebook, twitter y una cuenta en tumblr llena de información.

Necesitan dinero a pesar de que ya han alcanzado la primera meta. Si quieres donar, accede a su página en Indie gogo.


Replica Animal

I've got a little reflection to do about why I can not get attached to bloging, because the abandonement of this place is undeniable.
I suposse I haven´t been doing any deep thinking lately and that's why I don´t blog nor study nor blah,blah,blah.

Anyway this post is not about that, but about how great my my ucle's work is.
I can only take photos with my laptop's webcam right now so sorry about the quality but please have a look at the photos anyway!
Those are some present's he's made for me during the years (there's two bird missing...), there's more stuff in his page, which I've added to the web list in the left.

 First three photos show a mouse with a chestnut in an oval green platform. The mouse and the nut are painted in realistic colours.

Two latter photos show a bronze frog.